Player Profile: Dave 'Hair of steel' Ferguson

great analyst of the game

Position:

flanker

Age:

20

Status:

single-hopefully no kids

Past Clubs:

Presentation college (1 game then we folded)

Honours:

I was booted out of the Strutter team because my super cool and sexily smart haircut never budges an inch during the game, making all those hair obssessed Struters jealous.

Hobbies:

Football, Rugby, TV and not having a proper job.

He Says:

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.

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